You will make it through-- THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY-- this feeling of quiet desperation- painful heartache- and all the hurt that goes with it will ease and you will make it through the "valley of the shadow of death." Your husband passed on through death-- YOU are in death's shadow- and that cold darkness can penetrate the soul. I have come out from under the shadow- and you will too-- There are times you can not see where you stand- for the deep darkness- just trust your instincts-- one small step at a time-- move forward slowly-- listen for others who can come along side and encourage you-- Grieve and mourn as you need to- cry- weep--- but try to plan a time of resting from the work of grief-- plan a time to break away from the despair-- and plan something just for you-- a fresh hair cut- get your nails done--- It will do your heart good- allow yourself to break away from the pain occasionally and enjoy a time for refreshment.